Off to the Land Far Far Away

My favourite adventure was the time we went to the Land Far Far Away.

Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Peter Parker & I have been best friends since childhood.

All of us were excited about this trip since we were planning it since a long time but all of us were busy with our work, saving the world, fighting villains and being friendly neighbourhood superheroes. We finally managed to take out time from our busy and mildly exciting schedule and decided to head to the exotic land of Land Far Far Away in Tata Safari Storme. 

At the break of dawn, we set off. Since Bruce and I are insomniacs, we were sleepy during morning time and hence Peter decided to take the wheel. He was in for a treat. The car's fantastic handling and the ability to run over potholes meant, one would never want to leave the driver's seat. At first, we thought it was Peter's condition wherein his fingers get stuck to any and every object is making him control the steering so well. But i later found out, it was all thanks to the beautiful leather finish on the steering wheel that lets the driver grip it beautifully and stay in total control. 

Few hours into the drive, we felt Dinosaurs in our stomach; hence, decided to grab a bite or four. We stopped at Restaurant StaleFood. From the name, we had absolutely no idea what type of food we’d get. The waiter whose name was R. Gandhi suggested we try Rahul Roy Spring Rolls. When asked what they were, he told us that the chef made these Kebabs lipsmackingly good the first time he cooked but has never been able to repeat the same taste. We skipped those and instead ordered Bhagyashree Samosa. They looked good from outside but were fairly undercooked from inside. They were more-or-less just a flash in the pan. After filling our stomach with a bowl of Saunf (Fennel seeds), we marched on.

Soon, Clark Kent started developing green rashes all over his face. It turned out, all the Saunf (Fennel seeds) that we hogged on to, to fill our stomach; was responsible for it. Fennel seeds are rich in Potassium – K. The ‘K’ replicated the effects of Kryptonite, the only substance he’s allergic to. We stopped the car and got Clark out in the sun so that he can regain some of his strength. Instead, he became unconscious, fell down, hit a rock and ruptured open his forehead. We were in the Corny Dog district and there was no civilization in sight. As a quick-fix, Peter Parker weaved a web on his forehead to close the skin opening and stop the blood flow. Being the best driver amongst us, Bruce Wayne took the wheel and started zipping mile after mile.

  

Soon we reached the village of Giggling Hyenas. As we entered the village we saw a shepherd who was playing with his pet bird while his sheeps were grazing in the grassland. He introduced himself, and told us his name was David while his pet is called Dickie. He became concerned opon learning about our situation, he gave us directions to the house of the village's only hakim - Doctor House. While leaving he told us that the way to Land Far Far Away is full of obstacles and only the most ardent travellers will be able to reach there. We left for Doctor's clinic as David shepherd continued playing with his Dickie bird. 

*knock knock*

Dr. House: “Go away, kids. I’m out of candy.”

Me: “Doctor, we need your help. Our friend is sick.”

Dr. House: “This trick won’t work on me, again. Go away.”

Bruce: “Doc, help us. You’re our only hope.”

Dr.: “What’s wrong with your voice? Did you drink phenyl?”

Bruce: “No, this is my actual voice.”

Doctor: “If your voice is not the issue then what is it?”

Bruce: “Another friend of us have an outburst of algae on his face?”

*Dr. House opens the door*

Doctor: “What?”

Peter: “Yeah. Look at him.”

Dr. takes a look at Clark and says, “You idiots, it’s not algae. It’s just a case of greenosymphomitis. Meaning, he’s allergic to most things green.”

“Take this red velvet cup cake, it’ll balance out the green,” he added.

Within no time, Clark’s rashes disappeared. We thanked the doctor and got going.

Manier miles down the road, a giant 230 ft. cow-statue atop a 150 ft. plinth welcomed us. It was the town of the Holy Cow. Any travellers who pass through the Galactico Highway 666 doesn't cross over before offering 1111 coconuts to the Holy Cow temple. But since we didn't have time for it, we struck a deal with the head priest of the temple. We promised him to get a 1112 likes on his temple's facebook fan page. All we had to do was post a picture of the cow with the message, "LIKE Holy Cow Official Fan Page or else bad luck will haunt you for 7 years." Within 93 seconds of posting this message, the FB Page got flooded with fans to the tune of tens of thousands. To celebrate this momentum occassion, the head priest declared it to be a National Holiday in Holy Cow. Holy Cow!

The priest wanted us to be a part of week long festival to celebrate 50,000 facebook fans but since we were getting late, we respectfully declined their invitation. Also, Bruce starts shaking uncontrollably upon seeing more than 19 people in one place.

We kept heading North thinking we'd reach Land Far Far Away in no time. But nature had other plans for us.

The terrain kept getting uglier by each passing kilometer but the Tata Safari Storme just soldiered on without battling an eye.

Even on steep slopes where the gravel would make it impossible to grip for normal cars, Safari's Hill Assist Control kept the driver in total control.

We kept on driving for days and nights at end but the Land Far Far Away kept getting further and further.

From chills of snowpeaked mountains to heat of barren land, Tata Safari Storme braved everything that was thrown at it.

We kept going and reached far off places but never the place we wanted to be at - the Land Far Far Away.

We went to Lasha and asked about Land Far Far Away, they said, they haven't heard of it.

We went to Hong Kong and asked about Land Far Far Away, they said, it was a place that shouldn't be talked about.

We went to Beijing and asked about Land Far Far Away, they told us that it was a forbiddened land and one shouldn't go there.

We went to Kuala Lampur and asked about Land Far Far Away, they asked us to return back since we'd never reach there.

We went to Bangkok and asked about Land Far Far Away, they warned us that that journey shouldn't be attempted.

We went to Shanghai and asked about Land Far Far Away, they threatened not to set foot on the hallowed land.

We went to Taipei and asked about Land Far Far Away, they told us that it's a land that's not supposed to be found.

We went to Tokyo and asked about Land Far Far Away, they informed us that we'll find the place ONLY if the land wants to be found.

With honest intentions, we soldiers on, for days, weeks & months at end in search of the Land Far Far Away.

We crossed many deserts, mountains, bridges and rivers; braved many snowstorms, avalanches, snowstorms, landslides and thunderstorms. 

The nature tested us in every which way, but in the end, it revealed it's most beautiful secret - the Land Far Far Away!

We reached the destination on the full moon night, and the entire landscape was bathed in pearly white glow.

But it was in the morning that we completely noticed the beauty of this place which has been the stuff of the legends.

As the first sunbeam hit the land, the nature's most beautiful spectacle came to life!

From a small crevice through the tent, I peaked out and saw flutter of some prayer flags

I went out and saw God's messenger fly above me; as if congratulating us on our exploration. Just then realized that it was none other than Dickie bird. Wait a minute, does that mean that David shepherd is God?

Is that why David told us that if we ever reach the Land Far Far Away, he'd be there since he could easily beat us in a race to the Land Far Far Away? Is it possible that this is the same shepherd who walked the earth 2 millenias ago? Well, we'd never know. All we knew was that all four of us were at the most beautiful place on the earth, that is, IF we were still on the earth.

We decided not to think too much about it and just enjoy dance of the sunshine on the pristine blue waters.

It's believed that these flags carries the prayers to the heaven. Well, I don't really believe it. Simply because, HEAVEN IS THIS! 

There can't possibly be a more beautiful place in all of the three worlds. 

For sure, this journey wouldn't have been possible without the fantastic Tata Safari Storme. To know more about this beast of an SUV, log on to www.tatasafari.com and check out what more inhuman feats it's capable of doing.

Melbourne: The world's most liveable city

Isn't it funny that whichever city you live in becomes the most liveable city in the world, for you? To settle this dispute few level-headed people decided to conduct a poll to see which is the world's most liveable city. Not surprisingly, Melbourne took the crown. This means, every single soul who doesn't hold the title of Melbournian wants to visit it. But the questions is, how exactly do you go about the city? There's a difference between the 'city with the most tourist footfalls' and 'the most liveable city.' Visiting the former is simple, you only need to do the usual touristy stuff and a 2 nights, 3 days, 9 meals, 20 photos visit would suffice; but for the former, you need to stay long enough to feel the essence of the city in your soul. 

The only way to know Melbourne - the world's most liveable city, one needs to know what makes the city that it is. And by that, I don't mean the you need to know that stats like population, timezone, languages spoken & the name of mayor. Definitely not. These details you can get from Wikipedia. I mean to say, to know Melbourne, you have to live there and fill your senses with the flavor of Melbourne. This feeling can't be captured with a bunch of photographs or explained to you by a tour guide, this is something that can be acquired only when your open and submit yourself to the city.

In order to open your heart and mind to the city, you need to take these 4 scientifically designed trails. It's not like I just sat down and just made this up; these trails have been calibrated thanks to years of research and hard-work of self-appointed geniuses who've worked at NASA . Not sure about you, but I have full faith in NASA (National Alibaug Sindhi Association) & I'm going to take these 4 trails without an iota of doubt.

1. The Melbourne Identity: This trail will take you through the toughest touristy terrain.  This trail is about the 'identity' of the city that's shown in brochures and Facebook albums. Here you will experience and see what your 'average tourist' takes back home. The major tourist spots would include the usual suspects - museums, zoo, heritage walk, few skyscrapers & landmarks, the shopping district and a couple of iconic hotels/restaurants. Most tourists go back home after checking out this scenic identity. But Melbourne is not your average tourist city. In fact, this is where you see the real distinction between a tourist and a traveler. A tourist will stop at the Melbourne Identity; but a traveler will go beyond, complete the 36 4 chambers of Melbourne and attain nirvana. 

2. The Melbourne Supremacy: While Melbourne Identity was only about seeing stuff, Melbourne Supremacy is about doing/experiencing it. Here you will take back experiences, and not just photographs for your Facebook album. I want to swim with the dolphins, learn to surf the waves, feed the nature's original teddy bears - koalas, stroll on the beach with the penguins a trip to the vineyards and exploring a gold mine. I want to do all this and much more.

3. The Melbourne Ultimatum: This trail is about YOU. It's not about what the tour guide says or what the sightseeing book recommends, it's about what YOU wish to do. I'm a sports junkie, and I want to enjoy Melbourne as a sportsman. I want to be right in the middle of the action. I want to hire a car and trace the F1 circuit map at the Albert Park. Agreed, I have to abide by the traffic laws, but knowing that fact that I'm driving on the same tarmac and turning around the same corners that F1 drivers zip past on their mutli-million dollar machines, will give me a different high. One thing that strongly links India and Australia is Cricket. So, how about a game of cricket at the famous MCG? No, I don't want Brett Lee to bowl at me, but I'd love to be a part of a local club side in a friendly game. Can I get to practice a set or two at the Melbourne Park? Maybe someone can help me improve my backhand. And when you're in Melbourne, how can you miss the beach? If I can manage to gather 3 mates, we can participate in a 4-a-side Beach Volleyball matches at VIC Beach. This is my choice, yours could vary. Whether you like culture & arts, heritage, nature & wildlife, sports, farms & vineyards or party zone, Melbourne won't disappoint to cater to your special needs. In fact, Melbourne offers something for everyone. 

4. The Melbourne Legacy: Melbourne Ultimatum was all about ME, Melbourne Legacy is all about the Melbournians. I want to travel the way Melbournians travel, eat the food that they cook, have coffee at the cafes they visit and party the way they party. And don't forget thy watering holes. I want to travel by the trams and get lost in the bylanes without a GPS. I want to mingle with the locals and find my way back. 

For more information on what else to do Melbourne, visit this link: www.visitmelbourne.com/in.

I've decided to go to Melbourne, so should you. Believe me, it's your time to visit Melbourne NOW! 

P.S. This blog's been written for Indiblogger contest, details of which can be found here.