Ignite Mumbai 2

Firstly, this post is a bit late. Generally, people start writing a blog post about any event/meetup/concert within 83 seconds after visiting it. I've exceeded those 83 seconds a lil bit....by 7...errr...days. Heck, who cares, no one's gonna read it anyways. In any case, you're reading this, I do feel sorry for you.

Anyways, so this was the second edition of Ignite Mumbai which I attended for the first time. Incase, you dunno what Ignite Mumbai, you can check out their website. Or continue reading. Or do both.

So, the second edition of Ignite Mumbai was held this place which aptly describes the state of mind of everyone who doesn't know what Ignite is - WTF.

*Don't kill me for copying this pic from Ignite Mumbai's facebook page.

And according to the some of the attendees, the place should be modestly called BC-WTF-MC, due to it's strategic location which many of them found a little less than simple to reach. Like one Mr. Vishal, who kept on collecting murderous stares whenever he told the fullform of WTF to everyone whom he asked the location who asked him in return, "What does WTF stand for? We might be able to help you."

Nonetheless, its DoubleU Tee Eff for now.

Ignite as you might expect was a concept first started in some American city, famed for mistakenly welding a space ship on top of a pole. At Ignite, you can talk about anything you like, but should be accompanied by a low quality presentation consisting of 20 slides each of which will shift their ass in 15 seconds. Ignite people like to smartly describe it as "T20 of presentations and geeky fun", while I'd lamely describe it as "Ppts on weed."

While, Vishal was making his way through the death wishes and chanting the venue name like some urban slur, I managed to find few tweeps ( Rushikesh, Sampath & Navin) to strike a conversation with, not before sitting like a dodo for few minutes.

After a while saw a pretty girl waving at me from a distance. I looked away thinking she's waving to someone behind me, apparently it was Snigdha whom I didn't recognize from the distance who was infact hi-ing to me. Sorry Snigdha, my bad. This is exactly what happens, when you're not habituated to beautiful girls coming upto you and saying hi.

Also, happened to meet Ritika, Mohit & Harmanjit over there. But the most interesting person has to be, Aviraj's grandfather. As our table was right in front of the screen, he came to us and politely asked, like a thorough gentleman, if he can join us. I had the pleasure of exchanging few words with him before the whole thing started. The 82 year old (if I'm not wrong) gentleman firstly asked us, if we (young people) would be comfortable sitting with an old man? It was our pleasure to have him there amongst us. The ex-journalist told us that he likes being around youngsters and loves to find out new things (like Ignite) that we come up with. That was a learned, experienced and a highly respected man telling us that he has great confidence in us - the today's generation and according to him, we'd do wonders in coming years. Thank you sir, we'll do our best to live upto your expectations. Love your attitude and your thoughts, salute!

Just then, the faulty mic got warmed up and the speakers started presenting their work in something that can be best described as techno. 

There were about 8 speakers, or 9. Don't remember 'em all though. 

Here are some excerpts from the pep talk.

Life is About Getting to the Hill-Station – Arjun Nair 

Arjun started the thing with a snapshot of a long winding road comparing destiny/goal as the hill station and life as the journey. According to my calculations, he used about 3.2 quintal metaphors. I think Yoda takes his inspiration from Arjun's slides.

God is Back. And How! – Rohan Babu

Rohan spoke something about God and inspiration and faith and God and something. In words of Chamatkari Baba all he heard was "blah, blah, something, Fuck you god, something, blah...".

Well, one of the characters in Rohan's ppt did say "Fuck you god" only to have his faith restored later on or something like that. 

According to a tweet by someone who's more knowledgeable than most of us, "Rohan Babu is more than fluent,he's a tongue on steroids.Too fast 4 listeners to ponder over his xtraaaa philosophical points.."

Nonetheless, good talk for those who're more spiritually inclined.

There Once Was a Man – Ashtiaq Dalton

All I can say about Ashtiaq is that his presentation was a collection of horny 4 liners. 

P.S. Mr. Dalton, if you're reading this, do post your quartet or whatever its technically called in the comments section or direct us to the blog/scribd page where you've published it (in case).

Pimp my Rickshaw Ride! – Achint Parekh

Achint was greeted with loud cheers from many ladies as he grabbed the mike. I'd like to believe they all were his rakhi sisters if not cousins. This guy turned out to the Dilip Chhabaria of rickshaw union. He showed ways in which a boring rickshaw can be made more fun (incase, you still haven't figured that out from the title).

Design Fascinates Me – Ayush Saran

Ayush seemed to be a guy who's more artistically blessed than I am. He spoke about designs - good, bad, ugly and some really interesting ones. One of the points he made was that one should be creative enough to design your original designs (there wasn't any other way I could put it) and not to copy it from others; else you'll end up being an adivasi tribe on some island in Pacific.

Surviving the Shopping Trip – Rohan Joseph

I think we all should laud Rohan for taking up this sensitive topic, something that's almost a taboo to be spoken about out in open. It was really bold of him to discuss how to deal with a shopping trip with girlfriemd, without caring about the fact that he shunned any and all chance of getting laid again without paying for it. Bravo!

Whatever! – Sudeshna Das

Memory lapse on my part is what best describes this one. Don't think, it was forgettable one but I'm somehow having a hard time recalling this one. Maybe I was busying tweeting or maybe it was just that - whatever. Still, I'm sure Sudeshna did a great job in it.

Making Pasta Like a PRO – Shaheen Peerbhai

Everyone who hogged like ummm hoggers after the meet can actually blame Shaheen and those delicious pasta pics in her presentation. Some dumb heads failed to understand that her presentation was never meant to color an autorickshaw OR teach you how not to stare at lingerie section while shopping with your girl OR how to write horny poems. It was about food. And the reason many found this one lil' less interesting is because the previous presentations had set a LMAOing tone. Had this one been the first presentation, it would've fetched a much better response which it rightly deserved. You go girl!

Being Bawi – Mahafreed Irani

Mahafreed was truly the icing on the cake. She went to some length to describe how Parsi community may very well become the Dinosaur of 21st century. They're actually an endangered species and everything is being done to increase the population of their race. The sad part is, everything is being done by the oldies which is kinda pointless (pun intended).

Funnily, every Parsi I can name, is either an oldie (Ratan Tata) or a hot VJ (Ramona, Nauheed, Shehnaz) getting married outside their race. I didn't name Cyrus considering he's now adopted by a family of goats.

All in all, Ignite Mumbai was fun but at the end of the meet you ask to yourself... "hmm..now what?" As in, what's the purpose of this? Is this just to get rid of your stage fear, to be able to make better presentations, to give someone a chance to write horny poems, to bid goodbye before extinction, for some social cause, to make better pastas, to encourage us to use google maps to find a difficult location OR just for fun?? Just for fun, is something that according to me, somehow doesn't add up in the equation.

Only time will tell, how things take shape from here. Till then, have fun!