Beginner's guide to the wild tropical sweat forest of Health Clubs

Health Club / Fitness Center / Gym / Body Sculpting Studio / Iron Pumping Factory or whatever you call it, fact remains its a jungle out there and stepping into the wild isn't easy for the newbies.

For those who're playing to take the plung into this wild wild world, let me familiar you with the various species you'll be encountering over there.

1. Moaner: Its scientifically proved that, moans travel faster than actions and you'll experience it as soon as you step into the sweat heaven. This species is know for its loud grunts that generally sounds like... "aaahhhhh", "uuuuhhhh", "huuuuuuhhhh", "faaaaaaakkkkkkk", et all. The strongest part of this species are his vocal cord muscles. He visits the gym to add stamina and power to his Adam's apple to facilitate much louder grunts at the time of mating.

2. Adviser: This species falsely prides itself in being know-it-all, long nosed creature. It has a natural tendency to disturb others physical routine and gives unasked advice inorder to win uncalled attention. They would go to the extent of enforcing their pokes by taking away your props and touch you at weird places to correct (read disrupt) your postures.

3. Socialiser: This creature never misses an opportunity to mark his territory with his musky sweat. He's generally found around the treadmill swamps and bicycle grasslands where large herds of female kinds are found strolling about. Occasionally, this creature is even seen around watercooler watering holes taking tips and networking with other alpha males for some or the other personal gain.

4. Playlister: This species is highly sensitive to sounds and thus at all times tries to have most satisfactory and optimum decibel levels.

5. Poser: This is the most hilarious creature of the lot and is found in largest number across the territory. Their large numbers, more than makes up for their lack of power, which they utilize to bother other larger species. They're more amused by a simple mirror than orangutans. According to scientific estimates they spend 87% of their time making retarded and preposterous poses. Since the beginning of evolution, this species has been trying to take over the world but physically speaking, they haven't done it yet.

6. Fighter: They are smallest in numbers but are feisty by nature and belong to a secret practice of "The I'll-despise-everything-and-everyone!". They would bark at others for anything and everything from leaving their napkin anywhere except their hands ,to keeping a dumbbell 3cms from where they picked it up, to leaving the toilet seat up/down/whatever. However they often tuck their tails between their legs when they encounter other larger creatures.

7. Roadroller: This species has characteristics of various species like, activeness of a sloth, body fat percentage of a hippopotamus and asthetics of a camel. He's also nicknamed as milestone, cause every single repetition and ever single ounce of weight is a milestone.

8. Builder: This creature is truly the king of this jungle. He's the alpha-male and the object of desire of every female to have healthy youngones with. He's everything that our previous species is not.

I guess now everyone's clear with the unknown territory and its fiercest species. Hopefully, now you'll be able to tackle everyone gleefully.

Fuel Tank or Fool's Tank?

Why is it that we get to see longggggg queues on petrol pumps the evening before the fuel price hike? I mean, whenever the inflation's cheerleaders, the so-called "government" announces price hike, people rush to the petrol pumps as if it were a 98% off Christmas sale! Get a life people, an increase of Rs. 1-1.50-2 is not gonna make you sell your kidneys. 

Let's say, you have a 2 wheeler, you're not saving more than 15 bucks even with a full tank. That's the same amount you'll be saving if you don't ask for extra extra cheese on your cheesy hamburger, not mentioning the favor you & your ass will be doing to your body & the seat, respectively.

Even if you have a car, with a 50 liter fuel tank, at max., what you'll save is 100 bucks. 100 bucks - that's another 2 liters of fuel. Considering you're getting your lazy ass up and driving to pumps specially to be a part of the brainless dash to make your tank overflow, you're already wasting fuel worth a similar amount, considering you'll be crawling through long queues keeping your engine ON and then again wasting a similar amount by not turning your key at red signals during the trip.

This especially pains me 'cause on that fateful day if someone actually has some emergency and has to top his tank up, he'll have to wait endless to see a series of dickheads hitting a jackpot with a full tank, before getting his turn to have a genuine refuel. Not Cool! *shaking head*


20 Facts about Santa Claus you never knew.
Santa Clause Fact #1 : He likes to have red ribbon for desserts.

Santa Clause Fact #2 : He's a big Ferrari fan and almost always wears red and has recently bought a customized red carbon fibre sledge.

Santa Clause Fact #3 : If you superpoke him, he'll throw a reindeer at you.

Santa Claus Fact #4 : Santa was thrown out of P. Diddy's Annual White Party as he didn't follow the dress code.

Santa Claus Fact #5 : When Santa was born, he never cried "uwaann uwaannn", he simply did "ho ho ho..."

Santa Claus Fact #6 : As opposed to popular perception, Santa was actually born with a white beard.

Santa Claus Fact #7 : Santa hates rain, he thinks that rainfall is a 'wannabe' snowfall.

Santa Claus Fact #8 : Santa thinks a man's best friend is Reindeer.

Santa Claus Fact #9 : Santa thinks, refrigerator is used to keep ice warm.

Santa Claus Fact #10 : According to Santa, Christmas carol is the most rocking genre of music.

Santa Claus Fact #11 : Santa thinks that the reason dinosaurs were wiped out from the face of the earth was coz of a huge snowball fight and not a meteor impact.

Santa Claus Fact #12 : He has a fetish for fluffy red stalkings.

Santa Claus Fact #13 : Santa once gifted an ATM machine that can count billions to Bill Gates, Gates hasn't asked for anything since then.

Santa Claus Fact #14 : Santa once raced the Superman around the world, the looser shall wear his underwear on top of his pants for the rest of his life. No one know's ready to speak up about the outcome of the race, but onlookers say it was a close finish.

Santa Claus Fact #15: Santa recycles used gift wrappers to make bed sheets.

Santa Claus Fact #16 : Santa thinks he works out 24*7 coz he carries his stomach.

Santa Claus Fact #17 : MJ once unsuccessfully taught Santa how to moon return Santa successfully taught MJ how to 'love' kids...thats the only thing they have in common.

Santa Claus Fact #18 : Santa once challenged a tortoise for a race. It was decided that the looser shall be exiled to the north pole forever....although we dunno who lost coz the name of the looser's withheld on special request.

Santa Claus Fact #19 : Santa doesnt wear a helmet on the sledge even at high speeds coz he has his thick beard and hair for protection.

Santa Claus Fact #20 : Santa secretly likes this blogpost.