Why Indian Toilet is better than Western Toilet?

People who have Italian marbles, Jacuzzi  & luxurious bath fittings often look down on those who have simple Indian toilets & not "stand-up" English Toilet. Today, let us ponder on the reasons why Indian toilets are better than their English counterparts and laugh at their faces & toilet papers. :P

Here are 10 reasons, why Indian Pot is much much much better than the Western Paradigm...

1. Better digestion
When you sit in the position that you do, your whole digestive system is being pressed hence the food gets churned, down to the last ounce giving you a more uniform slurry, as a result you get a much cleaner stomach.

2. No long queues
You see, the Indian toilet was designed by the same guys who engineered the Great Pyramids, built the Rome & drew Nazca lines. They had great know-how about architecture as well as human anatomy and various other fairly uninteresting things like building a giant 3D triangle on top of someone's grave, et al. They used this knowledge and made this ingenious design where you have to sit in squat position, giving just enough time to make you get your things done but not long enough to take a newspaper and read it all day long while others in the queue are holding their bowels. By the time the small bucket next to you gets filled up, you're feet will be starved of oxygen and you'll be compelled to finish the job at hand soon. 
Although, there have been reports of few seasoned players who sit through the excruciating pain and soon enough, they can't feel their feet and experience levitation, but those are truly exceptional cases.

3. Leg workout
As mentioned above, some people who've managed to live through the pain have actually never had any knee/calf/leg muscle related issues. On the contrary, some have even managed to make our country proud. (point in case, P. T. Usha) :P

4. No unwanted NRI relatives.
We all know how irritating it is, when that irritating cousin from New York or that baldy uncle from London drops by and stay for weeks at end, just cause only YOU of all the relatives happen to have his favorite "English" toilet. You can do away with all of this trouble by swapping the good 'ol English toilet with a brand new Indian one.

5. Keeps you Humble.
You'll never have any sort of attitude, as even during your Nirvana moments, you'll always stay down to earth.

6. Protects the wild life.
Yes, its a fact. Wild life love Indian toilets. Here's why?
India Toilet = No English Toilet = No Toilet Paper = No Cutting of Trees = Green Forest cover = Thriving Wildlife

7. Look & Feel.
A toilet paper or a water spray can never replace the human touch.

8. Platform Independence.
Geeks will understand this one better. Indian Toilets are not platform dependent. You need not always have a pot under your ass. On road trips and during emergencies, your body will subconsciously take 'that' shape (at the side of the road, on railway tracks, at the edge of a cliff or by the river) and before you know, you would've relieved yourself from the cluthes of your kidney. This is not possible in case of English Toilets.

9. UnPeek-A-Booable
As the Indian Pot doesn't provide any sort of stool like base for one to stand up on it, hence in public restrooms, it's near impossible for someone is the adjoining confines stand up and spy on you when you're at your innocent best. 

10. Fun
Let's face it, it's a lot more fun. The grown ups too get a chance to be so close to the ground without being embarrassed. :P

UPDATE: This blog made it to the list of "Must read" blogs of the week on BlogAdda's Spicy Saturday Picks - Sept. 25 '10: http://bit.ly/I91qg7. 



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Addy said...

I couldn't agree more! I am one of those who spend atleast an hour in the toilet yet believe me nothing clears my bowels like the good old Indian toilet!
You made me fall back in love with the indian toilet, I now wanna go hug and kiss it!
This post needs to be read seen and spread, I RTed it, FBed it and plan to promote it further!
awesome post man! BOW!

lakshmi rajan said...

11. Makes a nationalistic statement: Be Indian, S$%T Indian (style).

Abhishek said...

Ya correct even Baba Ramdeo recommends Indian Toilets.

Anonymous said...

Gosh binoy!! only you could have written a whole 10 point thing on that!!

Mohan said...

hahaha.... nice read... Couldn't control laughing out many a times!

Anubha said...

Hahaha whattay post and I completely agree!! Nothing like the Indian toilet! Jai Hind :P

Vishal said...

Hilarious post ... ROFL stuff but i am still not convinced :P

Vagrant Seeker, said...

Hehe, good one.
Also, 11th one- for women, this one is much cleaner than English toilets with various pee samples left by previous users on them.

nkr4068 said...

That was an awesome one!! Not just fun to read, but valid n true points, like the case of Toilet paper vs hand-water wash, i had presented that in an environmental engineering class, proudly, as we south asians are the only ones using hands & water! :P

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Phoenix said...

@Siddhesh... Now you realize it, in'it? :P

@Shamit... Thanks. :)

@Addy... So finally did it hug/kiss it? :P By the way, thanks a lot for the publicity. :D

@Lakhsmi Rajan... Nice one!

@Abhishek... Really? In that case, Baba Ramdev will be proud of this blog. :P

@Miilee.. I'll take that as a compliment. :P :D

@Mohan... Glad you liked it.

@Anubha... haha...Jai Hind. :P

@Vishal... Damn, guess you're one of those "preconcieved notion" types... :P

@Vagrant Seeker... Oh ya, never thought it...agree with that one too. :) :P

Phoenix said...

@nkr4068... You presented that in class? Cool... as they say, Great men think alike. :P :D

Phoenix said...

@Desi aadami... You got that right, Mr. Common Man!

S.R.Ayyangar said...

The new generation may laugh it out and may say it to be a 'humorous' post but the fact is that you have dared to touch a subject no body would have thought!Your explanations are absolutely perfect.

The madrasi said...

a great post and a different idea.
such Ideas about our own Indian toilet never occurs to our mind. Infact we dont bother about it even though it is the first place we visit at the start of our day..
Me too goin to shre this post on FB

Shrinath Vashishtha said...

What a peerless perspective, I must admit...! Phew..! I can sense how much of thought you've put into the whole oh-so-important process... Well-composed... ;-))

Surubhi said...

roflamoingggggggggggggggggggg.great insightfulw post tho the subject has put me off my dinner for now :P

Phoenix said...

@Bibek... :D

@S R Ayyangar.. Sir, you seem to be much senior to me. Highly appreciate those kind words, it's an honor coming from someone so senior.

@The madrasi... Thanks for sharing it. :) Ya, this post is kinda though provoking. :P

@Shrinath... Thank you. Glad you liked it. :)

@Surubhi.... :P :P Acha hai, you'll loose some weight now... :P

Ratnadeep said...

Must have studied and observed very closely... Great deal of observarance...

sujith said...

My knee is injured, now I am in love with western toilet.

Anonymous said...

superb - love the down to earth thing, one more addition to your list will be - those whose brothers/fathers/husbands love to read in western toilets will be happily discouraged as Indian toilets are not conducive for any other activity apart from the downloading content :P

Azad said...

"A toilet paper or a water spray can never replace the human touch."
So true!!! I am going to get my English toilet dismantled asap now!! Thanks for re-igniting the patriotism!! :D


Shrika said...

be Indian feel Indian do it the Indian way (wanted to say 'do Indian' but that's a little unwarranted for!!! :-)
builders and real estate developers... listen up u guys

Phoenix said...

@Ratnadeep... Thanks.

@Sassyfork @Rajlakshmi... Glad you liked it.

@Sujith... Sorry to hear that. Hope it gets better. :)

@Vyankatesh... Thank you. :)

@blawghh... OMG...that's a good one man... Your point implies, Indian Toilet asks you to "Be No Evil" ;)

@Azad... haha. Cheers to that! :)

Phoenix said...

@Shrika... Yeah, totally, they should listen up. :P

Sweta said...

lol...... what a topic.... :D
looks like u did lots of research.... :P

Anonymous said...

hi its trupz here from Aditrupz of "blawghh", glad you liked the thought :) -

Nishant Singh said...

Keeps you humble! hahahahahahah

tHis posts is gonna make me change my western toilet to an indian one :P :P

Mohua said...

This is the first time m reading ur blog, & totally loving it! This post is simply awsome..will share this link on FB & twitter, so that more people are 'enlightened'!!

Phoenix said...

@Mohan... Yup experience indeed.

@Nishant... That's a good decision. :P

@Mohua.. Glad you liked it, you're free to check out other posts too, hopefully you'll like them too. And thanks a lot for sharing it. :)

@mrknaughty... Thanks :)

Prateek said...

I never considered this topic would be so observant. :P

Phoenix said...

@Prateek... Neither did I. :P

@Mayank... Thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

please read this....

1) The so called Indian toilets is actually Egyptian toilet.

2)The so called English toilets is actually Indian toilet.

First flush toilet used in Harappa Mohinjedaro civilization..

Siju George said...

I like the picture you provided at the end of the article. Such a great idea.

Birdie said...

Yikes! I have two toilets at my place, English and Western. Aaj se main sirf Indian use karungi. Thanks Bee for the great post! You have opened my pahadi eyes!

Phoenix said...

@Birdie... It's my pleasure. Dekha acha hua na that you read this post. :)

Anonymous said...

Great post:
Simple experiment to experience the difference:

1. Drive 1.5 litres of water early in the morning slowly in 15-mins and walk for 3 to 5 mins. It stirs up the bowel movement.

2. Now use indian toilet. You will be surprised to experience a great flush-out in say 5 to 10 mins. If it does not, then there is a problem with the digestive system. Then it is recommended to do the same once again after 30 mins(drink 1 litre more after 30 mins and try again).

3. On the following day, drink 1.5 litres of water early in the morning slowly in 15-mins and walk for 3 to 5 mins. It stirs up the bowel movement.
4. Then use western toilet. It is hard to experience the same great flush-out in say 5 to 10 mins.

Arun Mohan said...

Marvellous, Only you can elaborate this subject. Cheers

Phoenix said...

@Arun @Rajendra: Thank you for appreciating. :)

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