Why Indian Toilet is better than Western Toilet?

People who have Italian marbles, Jacuzzi  & luxurious bath fittings often look down on those who have simple Indian toilets & not "stand-up" English Toilet. Today, let us ponder on the reasons why Indian toilets are better than their English counterparts and laugh at their faces & toilet papers. :P

Here are 10 reasons, why Indian Pot is much much much better than the Western Paradigm...

1. Better digestion

When you sit in the position that you do, your whole digestive system is being pressed hence the food gets churned, down to the last ounce giving you a more uniform slurry, as a result you get a much cleaner stomach.

2. No long queues

You see, the Indian toilet was designed by the same guys who engineered the Great Pyramids, built the Rome & drew Nazca lines. They had great know-how about architecture as well as human anatomy and various other fairly uninteresting things like building a giant 3D triangle on top of someone's grave, et al. They used this knowledge and made this ingenious design where you have to sit in squat position, giving just enough time to make you get your things done but not long enough to take a newspaper and read it all day long while others in the queue are holding their bowels. By the time the small bucket next to you gets filled up, you're feet will be starved of oxygen and you'll be compelled to finish the job at hand soon. 

Although, there have been reports of few seasoned players who sit through the excruciating pain and soon enough, they can't feel their feet and experience levitation, but those are truly exceptional cases.

3. Leg workout

As mentioned above, some people who've managed to live through the pain have actually never had any knee/calf/leg muscle related issues. On the contrary, some have even managed to make our country proud. (point in case, P. T. Usha) :P

4. No unwanted NRI relatives.

We all know how irritating it is, when that irritating cousin from New York or that baldy uncle from London drops by and stay for weeks at end, just cause only YOU of all the relatives happen to have his favorite "English" toilet. You can do away with all of this trouble by swapping the good 'ol English toilet with a brand new Indian one.

5. Keeps you Humble.

You'll never have any sort of attitude, as even during your Nirvana moments, you'll always stay down to earth.

6. Protects the wild life.

Yes, its a fact. Wild life love Indian toilets. Here's why?

India Toilet = No English Toilet = No Toilet Paper = No Cutting of Trees = Green Forest cover = Thriving Wildlife

7. Look & Feel.

A toilet paper or a water spray can never replace the human touch.

8. Platform Independence.

Geeks will understand this one better. Indian Toilets are not platform dependent. You need not always have a pot under your ass. On road trips and during emergencies, your body will subconsciously take 'that' shape (at the side of the road, on railway tracks, at the edge of a cliff or by the river) and before you know, you would've relieved yourself from the cluthes of your kidney. This is not possible in case of English Toilets.

9. UnPeek-A-Booable

As the Indian Pot doesn't provide any sort of stool like base for one to stand up on it, hence in public restrooms, it's near impossible for someone is the adjoining confines stand up and spy on you when you're at your innocent best. 

10. Fun

Let's face it, it's a lot more fun. The grown ups too get a chance to be so close to the ground without being embarrassed. :P

UPDATE: This blog made it to the list of "Must read" blogs of the week on BlogAdda's Spicy Saturday Picks - Sept. 25 '10: http://bit.ly/I91qg7. 

ALL

HAIL!