Social Media Week Reporter

Reasons why I should sit on the flight to London from Mumbai as be your Social Media Week Reporter:

I have ISO:9001 certified social as well as media skills. During my visit, I will spread Indian culture (social skills) in UK using various mediums (media skills). Both the countries can learn so much from one another For starters, here's what UK can learn from India (and this is strictly from social & media point of view):

1. On the wall of Buckingham Palac, it should be written "Do not pee here." << Social message
2.  Britishers should find new mediums of communication. Like Indians, Britishers should also make good use of graffiti to pass messages. Eg: Writing "I love you Sonal" on Stonehenge is an new way of communication that Britishers have not known before. Not to mention it's environmentally friendly.
3. While the world is going crazy about Google Adwords & Facebook ads, there's a lot that can be learnt from the way Indians do marketing. Imagine, after riding in the London Tube, you realize that there's an imprint of Kaya Hair Clinic, Andheri (East), Mumbai; on our palm because you had grabbed the handle? At the SMW, I can not only be the report but can also teach & introduce such marketing techniques to British entrepreneurs so that they can make their brands more social. And in this case, a lot more personalized too. Literally!

These were some ideas I thought of from the top my head. If you want more ideas, I'll make a presentation about it on the Mumbai to London flight and we'll go over it once I touchdown at Heathrow. Capisce?

Besides these, here are my additional skills:
1. I can write.
2. I can tweet.
3. I have typing speed of 50 WPM. 
4. I can click pictures.
5. I'm good at selecting filter. So much so that even my dreams have filter effects.
6. I can talk to girls looking at them in the eye.
7. I love Manchester United (English Club).
8. I love Force India (based in England).
9. I love Rolls Royce, Jaguar & Aston Martin (British cars).
10. I love Top Gear (Britain's no.1 show).
11. I have experience in live-tweeting big events and writing long blog posts on a daily basis at the end of the event. Yours truly has been the official blogger of Force India's One From A Billion Hunt - karting championship.
12. I can stay up for long hours. (Personal record: 46 hours)
13. Jet lag doesn't happen to me. I happen to jet lag.

14. I'm not too fussy, I can even stay in Fawlty Towers.
15. I'm not too fussy, I can travel by Business Class if First Class is full. If both are full, a small private jet would do just fine.
16. Having won contests previously, including a Nokia contest, I'm not new to winning and can easily handle the fame. (This blog won the first prize in the Indiblogger meet review)
17. I eat and drink everything, hence, no chance of offending the waiter or bartender, at the event.
18. Our family have always been Nokia loyalist. Right from my first phone 3310 to the Lumia 800 that I'm using right now, I've never used another phone. Ditto with my parents.
19. My concentration level is equivalent to a family of thoroughbred Gold Fish.
20. I was also been invited as a tweeting partner to a social media workshop organized by Digital Vidya, hence, I've mastered the art of networking as well as being social and courteous to people I have no intention of talking to.
21. My IQ level is more than INR value £ of although the later is trying real hard to bridge the gap.
22. I'm a biker at heart. Last month I returned from a 43 day, 5300 km+ Mumbai to Leh solo biking trip. If the event is far from the hotel and there's a jam, I can bike my way around the traffic and reach on time. Resourceful, right?
23. Having written technical articles earlier also, I'm now a pro at typos and errors. 
24. I'm not a Claustrophobic. I can sit in a conference hall and listen to someone talk without screaming and running out like a maniac.
25. I don't know how to operate guns hence, irrespective of how much I get tortured listening to the boring speaker, I won't kill anybody.

Still not convinced? Check out these testimonials from some of the greatest people from the world technology, who had the pleasure of gaining my insight and knowledge, and make billions with it.

1. He is simply fantastic, when it comes to technology. It was him who suggested that we should keep the "i" small. What a brilliant idea! ~ Stephen Jobsite

2. We were going down. Nobody respected our phones. But once when we were sitting at a bar, he arranged this tile pattern with coasters and that gave me us inspiration. Just then, at that moment, I told Terry, "This will be our next (mobile) OS." ~ Billion Gates

3. He's like the Dark Knight, he doesn't like taking the credit. He kept sending me these short SMSes about his daily chores - what he's having for breakfast, going to market, his interaction with the cute waitress, and such other stuff. When I got restraining order against him, that's when it hit me. He wanted me to build a micro-blogging site. It was his idea all along. ~ Business Stone

4. I've known him since the University. He used to ask me for numbers and photos of girls from my campus. I got of introducing him and the girls over the email. I wanted an alternative to "cc" & "bcc". After being his wingman for so many months, I decided to create this site and become everybody's wingman. All thanks to him. ~ Marcus Zuckerburger

5. That boy has got a fire in him. You must see the light in his eyes when he talks. To be honest, THAT has been the inspiration behind our Fire HD tab. Back in 2005, he visited our HQ once; our bottom showed "Green" during that brief 15 minute period. Since he couldn't come to California, we got to him; and that's exactly why we started the .in India website. ~ Geoff Buzy

These folks believe in me, and so should you. 
Despite my above accomplishments, I'm fairly modest. Hence, I humbly request you to send me to London as your Social Media Reporter. 

I've been working on this blog since weeks. In fact, I've been planning my post since a years. Ever since you started sponsoring Social Media Week, I knew that one day you'll organize a contest and will give me a chance to show case my meme creative/social media talent.


jameel khan said...

Thanks for one marvelous posting! I enjoyed reading it; you are a great author. I will make sure to bookmark your blog and may come back someday. I want to encourage that you continue your great posts, have a nice weekend!

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