Social Media Week Reporter

Reasons why I should sit on the flight to London from Mumbai as be your Social Media Week Reporter:

I have ISO:9001 certified social as well as media skills. During my visit, I will spread Indian culture (social skills) in UK using various mediums (media skills). Both the countries can learn so much from one another For starters, here's what UK can learn from India (and this is strictly from social & media point of view):

1. On the wall of Buckingham Palac, it should be written "Do not pee here." << Social message

2.  Britishers should find new mediums of communication. Like Indians, Britishers should also make good use of graffiti to pass messages. Eg: Writing "I love you Sonal" on Stonehenge is an new way of communication that Britishers have not known before. Not to mention it's environmentally friendly.

3. While the world is going crazy about Google Adwords & Facebook ads, there's a lot that can be learnt from the way Indians do marketing. Imagine, after riding in the London Tube, you realize that there's an imprint of Kaya Hair Clinic, Andheri (East), Mumbai; on our palm because you had grabbed the handle? At the SMW, I can not only be the report but can also teach & introduce such marketing techniques to British entrepreneurs so that they can make their brands more social. And in this case, a lot more personalized too. Literally!

These were some ideas I thought of from the top my head. If you want more ideas, I'll make a presentation about it on the Mumbai to London flight and we'll go over it once I touchdown at Heathrow. Capisce?

Besides these, here are my additional skills:

1. I can write.
2. I can tweet.
3. I have typing speed of 50 WPM. 
4. I can click pictures.
5. I'm good at selecting filter. So much so that even my dreams have filter effects.
6. I can talk to girls looking at them in the eye.
7. I love Manchester United (English Club).
8. I love Force India (based in England).
9. I love Rolls Royce, Jaguar & Aston Martin (British cars).

10. I love Top Gear (Britain's no.1 show).
11. I have experience in live-tweeting big events and writing long blog posts on a daily basis at the end of the event. Yours truly has been the official blogger of Force India's One From A Billion Hunt - karting championship.
12. I can stay up for long hours. (Personal record: 46 hours)
13. Jet lag doesn't happen to me. I happen to jet lag.

14. I'm not too fussy, I can even stay in Fawlty Towers.
15. I'm not too fussy, I can travel by Business Class if First Class is full. If both are full, a small private jet would do just fine.
16. Having won contests previously, including a Nokia contest, I'm not new to winning and can easily handle the fame. (This blog won the first prize in the Indiblogger meet review)
17. I eat and drink everything, hence, no chance of offending the waiter or bartender, at the event.
18. Our family have always been Nokia loyalist. Right from my first phone 3310 to the Lumia 800 that I'm using right now, I've never used another phone. Ditto with my parents.
19. My concentration level is equivalent to a family of thoroughbred Gold Fish.
20. I was also been invited as a tweeting partner to a social media workshop organized by Digital Vidya, hence, I've mastered the art of networking as well as being social and courteous to people I have no intention of talking to.
21. My IQ level is more than INR value £ of although the later is trying real hard to bridge the gap.
22. I'm a biker at heart. Last month I returned from a 43 day, 5300 km+ Mumbai to Leh solo biking trip. If the event is far from the hotel and there's a jam, I can bike my way around the traffic and reach on time. Resourceful, right?
23. Having written technical articles earlier also, I'm now a pro at typos and errors. 
24. I'm not a Claustrophobic. I can sit in a conference hall and listen to someone talk without screaming and running out like a maniac.
25. I don't know how to operate guns hence, irrespective of how much I get tortured listening to the boring speaker, I won't kill anybody.

Still not convinced? Check out these testimonials from some of the greatest people from the world technology, who had the pleasure of gaining my insight and knowledge, and make billions with it.

1. He is simply fantastic, when it comes to technology. It was him who suggested that we should keep the "i" small. What a brilliant idea! ~ Stephen Jobsite

2. We were going down. Nobody respected our phones. But once when we were sitting at a bar, he arranged this tile pattern with coasters and that gave me us inspiration. Just then, at that moment, I told Terry, "This will be our next (mobile) OS." ~ Billion Gates

3. He's like the Dark Knight, he doesn't like taking the credit. He kept sending me these short SMSes about his daily chores - what he's having for breakfast, going to market, his interaction with the cute waitress, and such other stuff. When I got restraining order against him, that's when it hit me. He wanted me to build a micro-blogging site. It was his idea all along. ~ Business Stone

4. I've known him since the University. He used to ask me for numbers and photos of girls from my campus. I got of introducing him and the girls over the email. I wanted an alternative to "cc" & "bcc". After being his wingman for so many months, I decided to create this site and become everybody's wingman. All thanks to him. ~ Marcus Zuckerburger

5. That boy has got a fire in him. You must see the light in his eyes when he talks. To be honest, THAT has been the inspiration behind our Fire HD tab. Back in 2005, he visited our HQ once; our bottom showed "Green" during that brief 15 minute period. Since he couldn't come to California, we got to him; and that's exactly why we started the .in India website. ~ Geoff Buzy

These folks believe in me, and so should you. 

Despite my above accomplishments, I'm fairly modest. Hence, I humbly request you to send me to London as your Social Media Reporter. 

I've been working on this blog since weeks. In fact, I've been planning my post since a years. Ever since you started sponsoring Social Media Week, I knew that one day you'll organize a contest and will give me a chance to show case my meme creative/social media talent.

Nokia Apptasting IndiBlogger Meet: A Punny Evening

Many nights ago, I received an email regarding the Nokia Apptasting IndiBlogger Meet. Not being the type who'd miss out on free food a bloggers' meet, I instantly registered for it. Also, it being the first Mumbai meet where "drinks" would be served, you really can't say no, right? If I didn't know better, I'd think that Indiblogger.com was trying to create anarchy; a drunk person with a blog at his disposal - can you possibly get a more potent combination? Turns out, Indiblogger & Nokia were just being gracious hosts, and were serving drinks so that everyone can have a good time. Also, there are unconfirmed reports that one Mr. Wild Phoenix who trolled the Indiblogger team for organizing the Mumbai meet on 15th August, issued a "Fatwa" against Indiblogger team, warning them not to organize any more meets on dry days. Finally the meetup was scheduled on 19th August, and to make sure the hungry people coming from as far as Thane, Ethopia & Sierra Leone (It's a country, you idiot; not Sunny Leone's sister) can get a ride back home early, the timing was adjusted such that the event would end by 10.30pm.

The day before the meet, I got a call from Vineet who wanted to confirm my attendance. Being a good friend that I am, I volunteered to reach early and help them empty the bottles with the event. When I reached the venue - Taj Lands End, it was familiar sight. Nostalgia, I was welcomed with the same "freeloader" look from the guards, that I received at the Hotel Sea Princess on 15th August, 2010. That's because, the only person who is less looked down upon than a guy who gets down from an autorickshaw and makes his way to the entrance of a 5 star is a guy who's sitting at home on a Tuesday afternoon writing a blog about an event he attended on Sunday. Erm... nevermind. You see, when you WALK in to 5-star hotel wearing jeans & tee with a backpack, and tell them you're there for a bloggers' event; the doorman doesn't let you inside the hotel fearing you'd steal flower vase from the lobby. Instead, he'll direct towards the banquet through an outside entrance. As a social experiment, go to the same hotel in a car, wearing a blazer; a gorgeous lady with the sweetest smile will welcome you, and you'll be given a seat next to a 1700 year old vase from the Ching Dynasty. Bloody clothists.

After the wardrobe discrimination, I reached the Ballroom entrance and found myself in company of Indiblogger staff. After exchanging pleasantries, we made our way in the Ballroom which was lit up in Nokia Blue. As more and more people started coming in, the conversation more-or-less revolved around one topic - "Apptasting." While the foodies thought they're in for a treat with hoards of appetizers, the tech+grammar nazis were frowning at what they thought was a typo. Some people just don't get the f(p)un part. (You saw what I did there? Did you? No? Okay.)

Soon the evening kickstarted with chants of "Hurr Hurr Hurr", which sounded more like the mating call of ring-tailed Lemur found in Madagascar. Indiblogger's Anoop (who was a bit tipsy) took the center-stage along with the Indiblogger team and gave a brilliant tribute to the city of Mumbai. After hi5's and warm hugs, everyone got seated and embraced for an evening of fun & frolic. Masterchef & Gadget Guru are two adjectives that have been used a zillion times for these learned men but there's really no better way to describe the 'Masterchef' Vikas Khanna & the 'Gadget Guru' Rajiv Makhni. One makes makhni, while the other one is himself Makhni (okay, I stole that line from Vikas). Guys who couldn't get a seat next to a girl were regretting, but once Vikas & Rajiv took the stage, those who actually managed seats next to a girl(s), were regretting even more since all the ladies couldn't get enough of giggling and drooling at the hosts. Can't blame them given the fact that one was voted the hottest chef in New York and the other, hottest anchor on Indian television.

It being a Nokia event, the duo showcased the new apps and technology developed by Nokia in recent times. Being a Nokia (Windows Phone) user, I've always been interested in the new apps being developed in Nokia's labs. Must say, with the technical expertise of Microsoft and Nokia, some the new apps that are being developed are simply spectacular.

This event was attended by 3 types of people - 1. Tech freaks 2. Foodies 3. Free-booze lovers. Knowing this, Nokia had developed apps that would interested all three cults.

One of the apps showcased was Nokia City Lens. I'm familiar with this app ever since Rajiv featured it in his show few weeks back. Since then I've been waiting for it, and from the Nokia sources I've learnt that it'll be available from 28th of this month. Finally. Using this app, you can simply point the phone in any direction and can get a list of places nearby in that direction. You can even get the address and phone number of the place. Sounds great. Now I can get the phone number of that hot chick living down the lane by simply pointing my phone towards her apartment. Heck, why stop at her, I can even get Katrina & Deepika's phone number. In which case, I'll give this app 5 stars.

As far as foodies are concerned, there's a Food and Wine Pairing app which will help them pair their food with wine. IMO this app will be particularly useful for people like me who swear by their beer & whiskey but doesn't know a thing about wine except for their color. It's apps like these that lets you sit next to a 1700 year old Chinese vase. 

 

When Vikas & Rajiv asked the audience about their dream apps, people went berserk with their thought process and came up with apps ranging from a politically correct app that can enable one to vote to an app that can find the perfect man; and everything in between. Yours truly suggested an app that can determine how drunk you are. Thankfully, Nokia already has an app for it called Alcohol in Blood. 

Obviously, I was the lab rat to test the app and since Rajiv thought I was too drunk to drive home, I was given a consolation gift - a Portable USB Charger by Nokia. 

And when you get a prize, you always have that one friend who will ask you something totally dumb and irrelevant. Looking at this charger, an Indiblogger friend (name withheld on request) asked that if he connected that USB at the top with micro-USB at the bottom, will it charge itself? No points for guessing that he's single and desperate to mingle.

I hope others who won prizes didn't went through such torturous questions. Oh yes, I said prizes. There were many, many prizes. '30 seconds of fame' - one of the quintessential sessions of every indiblogger meet was given a new twist this time around. Randomly, bloggers were called up on the stage and were required to choose a side - foodie (Vikas) or techie (Rajiv), and tell everyone why they're foodie or techie. Wittiest ones won prizes. This session was allotted 45 mins and when Indiblogger team learnt that when you give 30 seconds to 250 people, in some cultures, that takes more than 2 hours, they decided that only a handful of lucky people (randomly selected by computer, or so we think) will get a chance to showcase their witty side. One question that Vikas & Rajiv asked every blogger who came to the stage was, "What do you think connects Food & Technology?" I'm surprised no one could come up with the right answer. It's simple.
What connects Food & Technology? - Instagram.

Another contest included chopping onions in a particular fashion as displayed by Vikas. While a female won it hands down, few guy participants made the onion look like Hiroshima. As they say, 'the hand that chops the onion, wins the prize.' It's difficult not having a quiz competition when you have the quiz masters in house. Rajiv & Vikas hosted a hilarious quiz consisting of 4 teams. This was the first quiz witnessed by me (and probably, everyone) where you'd get extra points for dancing and where a True or False question, if answered incorrectly, can be passed on to the other team. At the end of tons of falling-off-the-chair laughter and a blind fold guess-the-ingredients test, an all-girls team won this tech+food quiz. They won Nokia Lumia handsets. Not bad for guesswork.

This meet also marked 5th year Anniversary (I wonder why it's not called 5th Birthday?) of Indiblogger. Everyone celebrated this occasion with a huge cake (Indibaby thought this was a football pitch made of chocolate) and a group photo.

After the cake, it was time for a stampede to get photographed with Rajiv & Vikas. And then dinner, which was delicious. Had a fun post-event interaction with both - Vikas & Rajiv; it was great to see how down-to-earth and humble both these guys are, despite their stature. 

In short, it was an evening well spent courtesy Indiblogger, Nokia, Rajiv Makhni & Vikas Khanna; despite the fact that I wasn't allowed to go near the 1700 year old vase.