IndiBloggers meetup

There's every chance that by now, you've already read atleast half a dozen blogs on this topic... if not I seriously hope you stop living under that rock.

Anyways, so it had to happen at Burj Al Arab but since this is not happening at Dubai and given Mumbai's traffic situation it finally happened at Hotel Sea Princess, Mumbai.
(please don't put that lame joke that came to your mind about how its easier to fly to Dubai than traverse through Mumbai traffic, in the comments section. Thanks.)
Well, Sea Princess isn't that bad either...they have 2.57 stars less than Burj Al Arab but they have parking for 2 wheelers which is perfect for me...atleast my bike won't be towed.

So, I reached the hotel, parked my bike & entered the lift after receiving a not-so-pleasant "you again? :|" kinda stare from the doorman. Second floor Regal Room (or so I think its called) was pretty nice, although few cheer leader won't have hurt either.

Few guys in black tee were blocking the way and before I could figure out, they asked me to move to left and register myself.
Mental thoughts - "Register? Again? Are you nuts? I've already done that? :|"
Just then a very cute girl with a cuter smile asked me to enter my email id. :)
Mental thoughts - " that's easy. I can do that. You sure you only need mail id? With a smile like that, I can even give you my password."
Well I obliged.

So then over the course of time, more people started pouring in and every ass took a seat. In the mean time, I glanced over to the tables where meal would be served and realised that it'll be enough to end a hungry strike. My resting ass was infact restless and as I was sitting next to the girl in white saree...devil thoughts had to take over. Glanced over to the furtherest end of the room and saw this giant screen on which live "#indimum" tweets were projected.
And so I humbly tweeted... "Bazingaaaaa.... This tweet doesn't say anything, just wanted to see my name on the big screen. :P"

5 mins later glanced over to my left and saw Ms. Safedi ki chamkaar playing Farmville on her laptop. I couldn't resist tweeting this achievement on the big screen but unfortunately for her by then there was some un-technical problem and next time the site refreshed, my tweet went way down the screen to be visible.

In between all this bullshit, Mr. Time did its job pretty well of running away and finally at exactly 2pm IST, that's around 14.32.537 hrs...the meet started. One of the Indiblogger guys started with the usual "welcome-we're-excited-to-be-here-blah-blah" stuff that you've already read on other blogs. Not to forget he had this very heavy Banglorean Accent which is equivalent to Monotype Corsiva in Oral Sense.

After telling us how much they hate each other, finally BigRock people presented a not-so-boring ummm...presentation.
Oh ya, they're the same guys who gave us freaking cool, creative and yet slightly erotic freebies.

I mean, look at this...

How creative one has to be to come up with a dildo that can write? Awesome na? Sorry ladies, I know this is gross but hey, no one complained while they were distributing it.

And now, looks at this thing...

Believe it or not, this thing write in the color of refined poo.

This alongwith semi-hilarious ppt slides takes the cake for the most entertaining presentation for the evening cause the only other ppt guys were HP blokes who showed their latest look-I'm-so-bored-of-lying-around-I'll-even-print-your-mails Printer.

Then came the part for which everyone was waiting for - *drum rolls* 29 seconds of fame *drum rolls*
At first, it was going to be *violins* 69seconds of fame *violins* but then it tickled a one too many funny bone so finally they discounted 40seconds, down to 29.

Some actually went for the glory giving their Oscar Speech for a duration that almost seemed like 1.7 seconds short of eternity while some played their best Black Jack hand and kept it below 21.
And all this just to win a year long .com domain...huh, what loosers! :P

Here are the top five though (not necessarily in that order)...

"I failed my tenth standard and flew off to Italy to fall in love with a 60 year old painter. But then he died and I went to Russia and got into a scam so I moved to Himachal and have been living there as a yogi. Hello everyone I'm a story-teller." 

"I used to blog on philosophy and life, also love stories but then I got dumped. Now I blog only on programming and software development."

"I didn't blog for 1.5yrs and I attained IndiRank 1...and I thought wow, that's awesome. After a while Vineeth met me and when I told him that I'm the best, I'm no.1; he told me its not a rank its percentile, 1 is the have to reach to 100 to be the best."

''I have two kids and three blogs.''

"I'm a Man Utd supported so boo to you *Arsenal fan* and you *Liverpool fan* I blog about serious things such as 10 reasons why you should not rape your maid, etc."  - These were the famous words quoted by yours truly. *smug* :P

Done with the introductions, now it was back biting/bitching time. Yes, that's what they meant when they said... "okay so hang this piece of paper around your neck towards the back side and let people write whatever they want."

I had a few very interesting things writing on my backpaper as well...

"write something serious like 10things to know before raping a maid"  << How would I know?

"how about 10things to do in a loo?"   << You're scaring me now. Sorry, I'm not like 'that'. :-S

"Your intro scared me"  << Who's wrote this?

"the Scandali-ser @_alps "  << :-S

"1 reason why Shiney Ahuja needs to read your blog @gkamblogs "  << Who's Shiney Ahuja? 

"Bee! Aye, (now) I know why! @shrikant "  <<  Really? oops! :O  

"Plz dont be a father"  <<  Sorry no other option, can't be a mother. :/

"you are a lot like me - "  <<  Really nice of you to say that. It touched my belly button.

"Fuck Off"   <<  Someone please tell me who the fuck wrote these nice words? Takes the cake.

While people were busy, scribbling my back I managed to catch a few half-sandwiches and a chocolate cookie as others cribbed about the tasteless coffee.

And now...may I present to you the one and only Gul Panag. *cord strike*
I know till now I didn't mention her, cause I wanted people to read the post atleast till this point cause from here on half the readers (who came at the meet) are gonna rush away to tweet her "Was great meeting you!!" for the 74th time.
Apart from the usual "can I click a picture with you" excited fan, also saw many "showbiz wannabes" crowding her expecting to leave an impression and get some favors which was a lil lame. :P
Anyways, so Gul was there and we didn't speak much...rather at all. We even came & left separately pretending to barely know each other. Didn't even pose together for clicks so that nobody spread any rumors or sense anything. She was looking gorgeous as always in that checkered top which I never gifted....hope everything's clear now.

By the way, she also moderated a discussion thingy which ended up in more questions and many more bursting bladders. Details of which can be obtained from other sane posts which you must've already read. (I'm still bothered with some of you living under the rock thing.)

It all ended with a special first ever preview of Soch Lo for the bloggers which was something that I'd like to describe as INTERESTING. At the end of 10min preview more than a few females crowded the writer/director/actor guy, who some thought was hot. Good for them.

What followed can only be described as "This is what I came for!!!" - The T-shirt Ceremony. Yes, after being promised at the start of the meet that we won't be given any tees, the Indiblogger team finally gave into cries, howls, abuses and obliged.

Finally the Sea Princess people got tired of keeping the lights and airconditioning ON. We thought we should leave the poor guys alone and head to the real life, and so we did.

Must say, it was one crappy meet. I mean think of it, they could've kept it on  Saturday, 14th August or next weekend 21st/22nd August... but no, they absolutely had to keep it on 15th, so that if anybody asks for liquor they can deny saying "sorry buddy, its a dry day." Bloody cheapsters. 
Anyways, its their loss, if people can give such rocking intros as sober, think what all could've happened had it been a liquor-flowing, beer guzzling, getting sloshed day? 
Okay fine, I enjoyed and it rocked. There I said it, happy now?
 P.S. Some names I should mention else they'd assassinate me...

Anubha - She still hasn't treated me for something. :(
Rati - We hate each other. :P
Hardik - He was the only guy at IndiMum, I've known personally before I met him online. 
Netra - She thinks we're distant relatives, nonsense. :P

Sorry, can't take everybody's name. Blogpost says, its running out of server space. :/


Truck Driver said...

this is the most honest post on the blog ... and bloody humorously-amazing too. Loved it, simply lovvvedd it

Anoopzombie said...

Ha ha ha!!! I have you on video right? And another blogger in the blogger meet found the Bangalore accent "alluring" LOL! you must be deaf :)

Phoenix said...

@Truck Driver... Thanks buddy... :)

@Anoopzombie... Aha, there you are. So you were the cameraman whose battery conked off when I was complaining about the food/liquor? :P
Finally, got ya... :P whats your twitter id man?

miilee said...

LMAO!!!! ROFL!!!!!

SUPER post dude!!! I forgive you for the farmville mention... and thanks for tagging me (yet again) as the gal in the saree.....

punkpolkadots said...

Two thumbs up! I'd raise four thumbs if i had them... Do toes count?

Phoenix said...

Thanks Michelle...coming from you, its an honor. :D

vijay said...

Hi one of great writing , great skill , you are god gifte writer.
I was laughing loud .

ani_aset said...

This happens to be the most well written post on indiblogger meet..i have read many boring ones since morning :)

Phoenix said...

@Vijay... Thank you so much for those kind words.

@Aniruddh... Thanks buddy. Ya I know the cliche stuff you're talking about...that's exactly why I wrote this way. Infact, there ain't any other way I can to write. This is how I write. Glad you enjoyed. :)

Renie said...

Great roundup buddy - thanks a ton. Mumbai rocked! :-)

UB said...

Wow! What a post..awesome...I was laughing throughout :)

Vinni said...

Hahahahah! Was rolling on the floor after reading this one! If you want more Tees they are with me, i will however only exchange them for more beer which I am running out off at an alarming rate.

Don't you dare tell me its worth toilet paper, even my maid is wearing the tee!

saurabh shah said...

you remind me of "busybee"(behram contractor) who wrote last page column "round & about in the style of art buchwald for mumbai's evening papers starting from 'free press bulletin', then 'evening news' of times of india and then 'mid-day'. Later he wrote for and edited 'afternoon' which he owned as well. your humour has that class. wish you all the best!

Mohan said...

I have missed to collect those freebies from BIGROCK. Good summation of the whole event... I rejoiced meeting the mumbaikars for sure!

Srini said...

ROFLCOPTER! Loved ur post... Yea I thought of killing you midway...but then what the heck... I was lol so much, that I forgot all about it... I think u should be hired as an assasin in the blogger world... if ever that kinda term comes up... cos u really nailed it....

Anubha said...

Hehehe you're funny! And you ought to forget your treat by now :P

Meher....all out to explore..!! said...

you have a quirky sense of humour.
the dildo one was amazingly humorous.
Great job..!!

vaastav said...

hahahahha haramkhor kisiko nhn chodega...
saabash Mr.B2Y.. very interesting way of writing! :)

Surubhi said...

hahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @beeayeanoowhy at his best :D

Parth J Dave said...

ROFLMAO!!!! What a post man! too good... enjoyed reading your review abt the event..!

hemal said...

by a laaaarge! the best one i have read!! what d f do you eat?

Disha said...

Thanks for a mention in ur post... Story teller : ))

Vikrama Dhiman said...

Excellent post. I loved the way you were able to chronicle the whole thing without making it boring even for people who had been there. There were mild critiques too.

Figured out who wrote what?

Sailin Gudhka said...

Enjoyed reading your post....I too was a part of that meet. Keep blogging :)

Phoenix said...

Oh Fuck... so many comments? Is it really that funny? :O I'm overwhelmed and almost into tears.....thinking of the pain it'll bring to my fingers replying to everyone... tsk tsk... :'(

@Renie... Thanks. Ya, IndiBlogger Team rocked it.

@UB... Thanks...glad you liked it.

@Vinni... In that case, would you gimme some beer if I gave you my t-shirt? :P (anything for "daru") By the way, you make your maid wear "your" t-shirt? :O

@Saurabh Shah... I'm flattered. Thank you so much for those kind words. :) Hope I keep upto to your expectations. Pressure. :-S

@Illyas... Thanks.

@MagicEye... Pleasure's all mine. :)

@Mohan... Oh man, you have no idea what you missed. Those freebie are a work of art. ;) :P

@Srini... Dunno about being assassin but I surely have become the "Ass of the blogging world." ..oopsie.. :O :-S :P

@Theknife... Ok, you know better. ;)

@Anubha... I still haven't. :P

@Meher... Thanks...glad you liked the dildo...oops..I mean in my blog. :P

@vaastav... Aur dude, kisiko chor diya toh usko bura lagjayega na...for being biased... that's why har kisiko liya...kisiko nai chora! :P :P

@Surubhi... OMG... :O Lemme embrace this comment of yours...this is possibly one of the only times you've actually appreciated me.

@Parth... Thanks...

@Hemal... I get stoned before writing a blog post... :P Oops my secret is out... :O who cares anyways.

@Disha... hey storyteller, been looking for you... Was nice meeting ya.

@Vikram Dhiman... Thank you for those kind words. No man, still dunno who wrote what. That's why I like it when people write their name along with a comment on the backcard.

@Sailin Gudhka... hey thanks. Hopefully we'd interact more the next time we met.

Acai Cleanse Detox said...

Oh yes, you are right, i did read a lot of blogs about the meetup.
but your writing style holds out, it is expressed in a more detailed and eye catching way.
keep it up.

Phoenix said...

@Acai Cleanse Detox... Thank you for those kind words. I'll try and keep you to your expectations. :)

IdeaSmith said...

Actually I thought it was a really well organized meet. Not too boring (well, except for a few random moments), not a euphemism for a place to pick up girls and put together with a tight enough format but flexible enough to accomodate lots of people and several opinions. Still, that's only my opinion. I am linking to your post.

Phoenix said...


Ofcourse, it was a nice meet...I ain't denying it. Refer my last para...
Read this line...
"Must say, it was one crappy meet."

Oops sorry, not that one, this one...
"Okay fine, I enjoyed and it rocked. There I said it, happy now?"

See, I'm not that sarcastic after all. ;) :P

Sangeeta said...

Hahahaha awesome Binoy. Sounds real cool :))

Phoenix said...

@Sangy... Thanks ji. Coming that from a professional writer like yourself means a lot. :)

Dhakkanz said...

Gul was there!? Oh Fcuk! I couldn't come coz of rains. Shit man!!

Phoenix said...

@Dhakkanz... That's the exact reason why everyone calls you "dhakkan". :P

Anu Mantra said...

To bad for me, I couldn't make it to the meet, as I am out of mumbai due to office work. But guess what, today I got the chance to come here and the first review I read about the meet is from you and it is as honest as it can be(going by the reviews). Well certainly you write good and your apt description super power is commendable.

Phoenix said...

@Anu... Thank you for those kind words. Glad you liked it. :)

Birdie said...

B is that you? I dont believe this... Im badly dably impressed. This is one real good post. Like a killer one. Awesome!

Phoenix said...


Yes, its me. Thanks so much dear. :)

Dhakkanz said...

@pheonix abhi tak to it is only me who calls me dhakkanz (not dhakkan) ;) hehhehe

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