WIPERS

Here's a thought people....

Since Ford Model T to Bugatti Veyron and u-turn with a Tata Nano...our cars have come a long way. From 3 Cylinders to V12 Turbo charged engines...and from brake drums to ceramic disc brakes, we've been through a lot. The automobile technology has evolved faster than the human race ever did.

But there is one thing that has stayed as it is...the way it was on the first day. That is, the wiper. No, I am not talking about the Dodge Viper. I mean that sleek black thing that pretends to cleans your windshield. Just take a moment and think about it, we have heard people appreciating various cars for various reasons... like a gearbox, acceleration, dashboard, seats, the grills on the bonnet, turbo charger, sleek body lines, brakes, alloys, huge windscreen, engine, seat belts, door handles...etc etc. But have you ever heard anyone talking about a car's wipers? No. Simply because there is nothing to talk about it. The wiper on an Indian Autorickshaw is more or less the same as the one that's there on a Mercedes expect for Autorickshaws have only one and Merc. has two. Ok maybe not, maybe a bit different, but not much, looks and works in the same way.

I simply, can't accept the fact that even after all this technological advances, we haven't been able to improve the design of a wiper.

Wonder why Formula One cars don't have a wiper...? Not because they don't have a windshield, but because they were embarrassed that they being what they are - 'the F1' ....couldn't make a better wiper, and so they scrapped the idea of windshield and wipers all together.

Why can't there be a car which can be admired for its wipers?

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT RAPE YOUR MAID...

These days raping a maid is in fashion. But I think that should be stopped (this is my personal opinion, no offenses to anyone). Besides the usual reasons like its a crime, morally incorrect, women should be respected...here are some more reasons that might stop you from committing that hideous thing. Still those jerks who've actually made up their mind, would go ahead and do it nonetheless...but still I'd like to appeal them to read this note, and give a thought about it.

1. She would say, "saab pagar badhao".

2. Your son would follow his father's footsteps and do the same to the maid's daughter, in which case he would be trialed for child abuse. :O Sheeeee....

3. She might get pregnant and you would father a slumdog. :O

4. If she gets pregnant and if your son would follow his father's footstep, he would end up raping his own unknown yet biological... :O :O Double Sheeee...

5. She might turn out Bobby Darling in disguise or even worse Rakhi Sawant without makeup. :O :O :O Triple Sheeeee....

6. If your maid leaves the job, your mother/wife would be paying for you sins...Lets face it, these days its very difficult to get a good efficient maid (I meant work efficiency, you pervert. :P).

7. What if the court orders you to marry her and she moves in your posh apartment...or even worse...she's ordered to marry you and you move in her slum? :O

8. Okay, maybe you're a big shot and can deal with FIRs, court case, warrants and everything else...but what if she doesn't do any of those things...instead, decides to bitch about your bedroom manners to 3rd floorwali Sharma aunty (building ki BBC) & 8th floorwali Mrs. Kukreja (area ki All India Radio) ??? :O Sheeeeeeee.....n times.

9. This is not a dream...get hold of reality else, you might actually end up raping her in real life. :O

10. Tell me honestly, do you really want to do it with someone who smells like Phenyl, Vim bar & Surf Excel all at once? :P

This note was written to spread awareness about ill-effects of raping a maid. After reading this note, even if one maid is saved, I would feel the purpose of this note is fulfilled.

WHAT IF PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP WAS LIKE TODAY’S BF-GF RELATIONSHIP ???

I would like to inform all the readers that this is an out and out black humor (not being sarcastic, this time just racist. :P). And faint hearted people stay away, you might…ummm...faint. :P

In today’s day and age, relationships are changing. Earlier a guy and a girl would fall in love and would love each other till the end of their lives….breakups were unheard of. Today linkups & breakups are as common as having hair in your nose. What if the same trend is caught up in a parent-child relationship too? Discussions like these would be a common thing....

1. Father (on call): Son, its not working out. We’re done. We’re breaking up with you. Please don’t call back.

2. Guy1: Why you broke up with your parents?

Guy2 : They had a roving eye. They always used to praise other's sons...it was a headache whenever we went to a party or a marriage or something. Would leave me and chat with other people's children all the time.

3. Couple1: Why you dumped your son?

Couple2: He wasn't really our type. Your son is so cool, would want someone like him.

Couple1: A couple of his friends are single right now. You want us to talk to them, if anyone's interested.

Couple2: Sure. That'll be great.

4. Guy (to his co-passengers): So, you have any kids?

Husband: Na, we're single.

Guy: Great...Me too. So can I have your no. ? I can take you guys out someday...maybe to a mandir or yoga classes.

Wife: No, thanks. Sorry, but we're not really looking for anyone right now. Just out of a 2 year long relationship with our ex-daughter...been only a couple of week, so we need sometime. Hope you understand. :(

Guy: I understand. :|

5. Husband: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! (dancing with joy)

Wife: What happened, you look so happy?

Husband: Our son just called. He said, he's moving in with us.

Wife: Yipeee...wow...finally, we'll have a 'live-in' son!!! :) :)

6. Guy1: Dude, why are you crying? What happened?

Guy2: I broke up with my parents.

Guy1: Why?

Guy2: They cheated on me. I was out of town last week for work, everyday they used to invite the college guy living next door as paying guest...for lunch & dinner.

7. Girl1: So, how's it going with your new parents?

Girl2: Not that great. They're very possessive types. Even if I smile and talk to any neighboring auntie/uncle or our family friends when they come over for poker nights...my parents feel bad about it. They're being typical jealous parents.

Girl1: I understand. My ex-parents were the same. That's the exact reason why I dumped them.

8. Couple1: Hey, I heard you people broke up with your daughter, why?

Couple2: She had commitment issues. None of her relationships have lasted more than 2-3years since childhood. In 20 years, she's had close to a dozen parents. We realized, there's no future with her...so we decided to part ways. :( :(

9. Couple1: Yipeeeeeee..... :D :D :D

Couple2: What happened? You look so happy and excited.

Couple1: Our daughter proposed to us. She wants to put our name in her birth certificate. Yayyy!!! :)))

10. Couple1: My son's gf saw you guys when you came for our 25th anniversary celebrations last week. She said she's interested in you people, what do you say?

Couple2: Sorry. Tell her, we're soft but not ready to adopt (single but not ready to mingle :O). :|

P.S. : No offences/preferences to anyone. This note was not created to hurt anyone's fake sentiments.

As Karan Johar has said.... "Its all about leaving ..errr... loving your parents."

Things you don't wanna hear the doctor saying when you're lying on the operation table.

1. "Oops..."

2. "Omg, its 5 already. Nurse, you finish the rest, I need to go pick up my son from the school."

3. "You know what...I left this part in options for the final exams."

4. Nurse : "We're out of thread." Doctor : "Nevermind, we'll staple him."

5. "I'm tired...let's call it a day. We'll finish the rest tommorrow."

6. "Let us first cut the ribbon, this is my first time."

7. "I think we need more practice."

8. "This guy's coming for the third time don't stitch, put zipper instead."

9. "I wonder what happens if I cut this vein..."

10. "You know, I was working in a garage before I was hired here?"

11. "(on phone) 5 Lacs for the kidney...Deal!!!"

12. "Wish we had a Ctrl+Z (undo) button in the Operation Theater."

13. "We are out of local anesthesia? No issues, bring the duct tape."

14. "Does anyone else wanna have weed?"

15. "Hold on, my car's getting towed. Brb."

16. Nurse : "Doctor, Is this your watch that we were looking for?" Doctor : "No dear, that's your bracelet. Keep looking guys."

17. "If I see blood, I faint..."

18. "I passed my practicals with 40%"

19. "Let's get this done in 10mins. My gf's waiting downstairs."

20. "I thought this was a dummy."

Stuffs Neil Armstrong's wife told him before he boarded the Apollo 11.

On 20th July 2009, we celebrated 40 years since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. And for the first time in these 40 years, we are bringing to you the conversation that happened between Mr. & Mrs. Armstrong few minutes before he boarded Apollo 11.

These are the things that Mrs. Armstrong told to her husband...

1. Can't you postpone the trip to next week? Me & pappu were plannig to go to fun fair, this sunday. :(

2. Hey, no speeding on the way.

3. Strictly, no going to the lap dancers or bar girls.

4. Take Trampoline. In case the rocket breaks down, you can jump and come back.

5. Don't forget to take the bandar topi (Monkey Cap) & that blue sweater in case it gets too cold.

6. Take jacket & flip flops too, it might rain also, you never know.

7. Honey, you took the mobile and its charger? And don't forget to activate roaming & GPRS (for FB).

8. Don't forget to pack Sun-tan lotion & shades. Hope its sunny up there.

9. Take my Jimmy Choo & kids' choo-choo shoes. That way the whole family can have their footprints on the moon. :D

10. Don't eat too much of "bahar ka khana" (outside food) over there.

11. When you reach there it would be such a special occassion, I want you to look good. Here, wear this black blazer that you wore at our weeding. :D

12. Are you sure they will give you TA/DA (travelling allowance & daily allowance) ?

13. Don't forget the tickets and the passport.

14. Can I come with you? Pleaseeeee...

15. What will you get for me from there?

16. Gimme a call once you reach there.

17. Tell them, its fine as long as this is one time thing, you shouldn't leave us like this and doing these trips every month. :|

18. Tell them, if the engine blows up it'll be because of their technical fault & you should not be fired for it.

19. By the way I forgot, which place you said you're going?

20. (Suspiciously) Are you making this up?